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The East Village Inky The East Village Inky — in which the Hoosier-born mother of a 3-thumbed monkey-collecting girl and a beguiling Brooklyn boy manages to issue forth another installment in the ongoing saga of their lives in New York City despite such obstacles as whining, the holidays and dwindling naptimes. Perishables & Dry Goods! Insomnia! Naked people dancing in a wholesome manner! Obscurities reviewed! Babyproofing Hilarity! A Paucity of Negative Space! Ready to subscribe? You can subscribe online via CCNow by using the handy links below! If you're a first-time subscriber, use this New Subscriber's link or click on the Inky cover below! 
If you're already a subscriber, you can take advantage of the Existing Subscriber's Rate to renew your subscription and save yourself a couple of buckies. In case you came onto the scene late, you can buy a grab bag of 3 back issues. Ohh! Why put yourself through the drudgery of holiday shopping when it is so easy to give everyone on your list a holiday gift subscription? It includes a card and personalized message. But wait — want to order a sample first? Don't believe in credit cards? Can't get a credit card? That's okay, we can't get one either. We accept checks and cash too — just ask. Where oh where can you buy Perhaps you are lucky enough to live in a city where some foolish, independent bookseller, or defiant children's shop manager has agreed to stock The East Village Inky for your shopping convenience. They support me! Now you support them! Baltimore, MD: Brooklyn, NY: Chicago, IL: New York, NY: San Francisco, CA: Seattle, WA: Toronto, Canada: Many of these joints will mail order you a copy! As will the funky fine folks at Microcosm.
Back Issue Synopsis Itching to know more about lice? Desperately seeking the inside scoop on bras, Heath Ledger and the 2002 Tony Awards? Armchair traveler in search of a child-friendly destination? Have we got an East Village Inky for you: Issue Eight (SOLD OUT) — In which some aberrant goat cheese lands a pregnant Midwesterner in a hospital with a fine view of the Statue of Liberty for what were intended to be the final golden days of her IV-obsessed daughter's only childhood. Issue Nine (SOLD OUT) — In which a three-thumbed three-year-old assumes the lifelong mantle of Big Sisterhood while Milk Monkey resumes lactation and lets the dishes go unwashed in favor of keeping more crucial plates in the air. Issue Ten (SOLD OUT) — In which a certain Hoosier transplant tromps around Brooklyn, the East Village and numerous subway lines, more of less joyously burdened with an infant, the coughing nursery-schooler desparate to kiss him, a bulging ersatz diaper bag, a Bug's Life lunchbox, an ill-advised sack of groceries and a deteriorating stroller. Issue Eleven (SOLD OUT) — In which Bitchmother finds herself besieged by Lilliputians, opens her mouth to a very bad dentist, and reclaims her ancestral Hoosier recipes. Issue Twelve (SOLD OUT) — In which a baby gets his first tooth but is denied free ice cream, the tub toys mildew and the wife of a soon-to-be-Broadway-playwright grows her crewcut out right before your very eyes. Issue Thirteen (SOLD OUT) — In which after a whirlwind summer, a 36-year-old mother prematurely assumes that life is returning to normal on September 10, 2001, a four-year-old's plan for increased TV viewing is thwarted by a force more powerful than her parents, and oblivious as a housecat to the swirl of current events, a fat baby boy thinks he's the big cheese just because he can walk. Issue Fourteen (SOLD OUT) — In which the toast of Broadway quits his day job only to discover that he is expected to mind the children so his wife can watch television at the gym, shop for underwear and work on her zine. Issue Fifteen — In which the women and children must fend for themselves while Paycheck Monkey lollygags around the Middle East in the name of theatrical research. Issue Sixteen — In which the younger members of the household experience a slight spike in babysitting due to their mother's ambition to experience some of the Noo Yawk City glamour a-swirl around her Tony Award winning husband. Issue Seventeen — In which a 37-year-old Hoosier city-dude, a three-thumbed self-taught swimmer and a two-year-old suckling with crazy baby hair return from the wilds of Cape Cod to start kindergarten, make a lot of demands and forsake the butcher. Issue Eighteen — In which an insomniac mother with a degree in theatre bites the hand that feeds her husband while recalling basement slow dances some twenty years past. Issue Nineteen — In which Bitchmother wears her pajamas in public, takes the bus to the precinct and square dances in the gym, rendering herself so accurately in a portrait within that the two-year-old shouts "Put it away!" every time he sees that page. Issue Twenty — In which several birthdays in the Borough of Kings cause our anti-heroine to reflect upon the ball of mystery and satisfaction that once made her the most sought after party guest in Indianapolis, Indiana. Issue Twenty-One (SOLD OUT) — In which an entire issue is devoted to a funnel-shaped account of three weeks in California. Issue Twenty-Two — In which a three-thumbed public school student spends a lot of time scratching her head, and not because she's feeling quizzical. Issue Twenty-Three—In which the Big Monkeys fly fourteen hours east of the Little Monkeys to the Land of the Rising Sun.. Issue Twenty-Four — In which a new pet name ("Poochy") leads someone to temporarily join forces with the least objectionable diet guru in the corporate bookstore. Issue Twenty-Five — In which patriotic New Yorkers attempt to defend themselves against an onslaught of Republicans. Issue Twenty-Six — In which various combinations of the primary cast pair off and split for Berlin, LA, and the gloriously refreshing Mayan Riviera. Issue Twenty-Seven — In which a 40-year-old Hoos-Yorker re-experiences the hubris of children's art classes. Issue Twenty-Eight (SOLD OUT) — In which three-quarters of the firm succumbs to Coney Island's myriad charms. Issue Twenty-Nine — In which one of the main characters is ushered permanently offstage Issue Thirty — In which the children are forced to endure an entire week's worth of cultural enrichment, as payback for Honey Bunny, swimming pool time, and CoCo the Class Bear. Issue Thirty-One (SOLD OUT) — In which a 41-year-old woman becomes ensnared in a web of expensive accessories designed to keep her daughter on the weenie side of tween. Issue Thirty-Two (SOLD OUT) — In which Head Counselor Bitchmother packs the children off to Camp MamaLamaDingDong. Issue Thirty-Three — In which a severely sagging 41-year-old mother returns much refreshed, only to find that one of her children in a state ultimately requiring plastic surgery. Issue Thirty-Four — In which a fully grown adult makes quite a spectacle of herself on the streets and subways of New York. Issue Thirty-Five — In which the children are cast out of the New York City public school system's pan, into the fire of the former Yugoslavia. Issue Thirty-Six — In which two powerless children are hauled into the wilds of Juneau, Alaska, courtesy of the world's first Bio-Historical musical. *** The East Village Inky is published more or less quarterly. This back issue guide is updated annually. We aims to please, so if you don't see what you're looking for, shoot us a yawp. Bonus Inky excerpts online: "Bitchmother" & "Advice to the Fathers"! Does Greg even know he's been published in the Scholar and Feminist Online? Lucky for him he sired children with Bitchmother. Just think, if he'd hitched his cart to a different wagon, his Advice to the Fathers from Issue 14 might have wound up as a reprint in Disney Family Fun, if not Gay Parent, instead of this august cyber publication from the Barnard Center for Research on Women.
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