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What They Say About No Touch Monkey! 
Marion Winik, Traveling to exotic places with very little money presents many, many pitfalls, and author Ayun Halliday has encountered every one of them. Fortunately, she never leaves home without her solid gold sense of humor. Halliday is the polar opposite of the gloomy, anxious road companion who makes a missed rail connection or closed museum into a day-wrecking disaster. For her, no injury or misunderstanding, no bad drug trip or vile toilet facility, no nauseating camel ride or attack by crazed prostitutes is too unpleasant. Her collection of travel stories is not just a sweet read, but an object lesson in what to do when, as they say, "shit happens." The answer: Enjoy it. If you can't enjoy it at the time, look forward to what a great story it will make. Wendy Ward, This good times, Brooklyn, N.Y.-dwelling momma bear is known for birthing and raising cutie-pants Inky and super-kissable brother Milo, writing funny zine The East Village Inky and modern-moms-rock-and-this-is-how-I-did-it bible The Big Rumpus, and keeping on top of her own column in Bust magazine. But as familiar with Halliday's goings-on as we thought we were, her latest book, No Touch Monkey! and Other Travel Lessons Learned Too Late, shocked us into realizing that she had a life before mommydom — no surprise that her life was a well-remembered riot, however. You know she brings the funny and the honesty to these travel tales, like she always does. Andi Zeisler, If you are or have ever been a budget traveler, you already know the singular joys of sharing a room in a grotty youth hostel with seven complete strangers, dining exclusively on the wares of street vendors, and wearing the same pair of pants for weeks on end. You also know that while you may bring home fancy souvenirs from the grand cathedrals of Europe or panoramic photos of majestic Mayan ruins, the memories that persist longest are those of experiences so wacky, embarrassing, or harrowing that only another budget traveler can truly appreciate them. It's these moments that Ayun Halliday celebrates in No Touch Monkey!, an almost shamefully entertaining travelogue of backpacking mishaps, ill-placed trust, and gastric distress ... Halliday's prose is wonderfully—at times painfully—evocative. Her various misfortunes—which include falling into a gorge in Java, dislocating her knee (and inadvertently making her young guide's day with the sight of her underpants); "erupting at both ends" with malaria in Africa; and facing off with a pack of feral, glinty-toothed dogs in Bali—are recounted with a mixture of palpable agony and amiable self-deprecation ... Whether you're a seasoned traveler, or the very thought of contracting a case of Delhi Belly keeps you firmly in familiar territory, No Touch Monkey! is a good-natured testament to how rewarding roughing it can be. Genevieve Rajewski, With a title like No Touch Monkey! and a crazy, teeth-baring primate on the cover, this book offers irresistible treats for the travel-literature shopper. While only the most intrepid backpackers will likely relate to Halliday's familiarity with washing in train-station bathrooms, anyone will relish her honest, often painfully funny recollections of "authentic" travel experiences gone awry. Emily Gould, Considering I once skipped a close friend's birthday party because the number of subway lines and bus transfers involved seemed too daunting, I think it's safe to assume that I'm not about to start traipsing around the globe collecting funny anecdotes like Ayun Halliday did. But now that I've read her collection of travel stories, I can entertain friends with (borrowed) tales of having a dislocated knee snapped back into place by a mysterious old bonesetter in Indonesia. Or maybe I'll just go on at length about the damage a camel ride can inflict on one's lady-parts. Ayun's complete candor ("I put my foot on the edge of the sink, the better to wash my malodorous vagina") is what makes her stories so engaging. In lesser hands, the same material could seem like a rambling postcard. But her quirkily brilliant descriptions ("Despair lodged in my stomach like a poisonous ice walnut"), already familiar to readers of her zine, The East Village Inky and her column in Bust, are what bring her stories to a whole new level. No Touch Monkey! provides plenty of vicarious adventure for readers who prefer domestic beach motels to malarial diarrhea and flip-flop-stealing primates. Kate Zambreno, Traveling misadventures have turned themselves nicely into creative fodder for members of the Neo-Futurists theater company. Greg Kotis drew the inspiration for the wildly successful Broadway musical Urinetown while too poor to pee in Paris. Known for penning her New York mommy escapades in her zine The East Village Inky as well as the book The Big Rumpus, his wife Ayun Halliday has parlayed her days guilelessly gullivering all over the globe after graduating from Northwestern University into No Touch Monkey! And Other Travel Lessons Learned Too Late. Bathrooms plays a huge part in this travel memoir as well, and No Touch Monkey is shocking and scatological and straight-out hilarious. Whether hanging out with her Hoosier mom at the Paris couture shows or getting stoned in Saigon or having an unfortunate mess-up in the bathroom of a Berlin train station, Halliday chronicles her journey into a delightful hybrid of Hemingway, David Sedaris and Helen Fielding. Jolisa Gracewood, In this new book of cautionary travel tales, it becomes voyeuristically clear that Halliday earned her staunch parenting stripes on the backpack trail. Who could be fazed by a barfing, wailing infant, or the stress of ferrying two toddlers through the wilds of Manhattan, after having survived a beating at the hands of a mad madam in the red light district of Amsterdam, or battling fierce thieving monkeys while working off the effects of ganja milkshakes? The travel war stories are all good, and this gal has been — and been in trouble — everywhere, from Romania to Rwanda, Kho Phangan to Kashmir. What I liked most, though, were the author's wry reflections on the pursuit of the authentic tourist experience (a contradiction in terms if ever there was one). Long after the fact, she laments stocking up on Trade Aid style wooden salad servers in Tanzania, instead of pouncing on a solitary soup ladle made from a can of name-brand toilet cleaner. True, the latter would have made a more memorable souvenir; and yet she still has the story, which is in the end the thing you want to bring home with you. Definitely a book for the incorrigible traveller — current or recovering — in your family. Joanne Latimer, Halliday is hilariously honest about being a know-nothing American. She thought Kashmir was in Iran. Advertisements featuring apes drew her to Tanzania, for example, and her entire knowledge of Cambodia comes from The Killing Fields and Spalding Grey's famous monologue Swimming to Cambodia. Her ability to discuss Buddhism with a Thai monk was limited to the retelling of the film plot for A Zed & Two Naughts. This is endearing, instead of annoying, as she supplies wide-eyed details about local customs without the burden of passing herself off as an expert. Nervy Girl: You dream of stuffing a few clothes and necessities into a backpack and setting out to travel the world. You want to lounge on gorgeous beaches in Bali, wander around ancient temples in Kashmir, and snap interesting photos of Amsterdam and Prague. Read Ayun Halliday's travel memoirs first and you'll either be booking your flight immediately or sending that backpack to Goodwill. Told in uncensored Technicolor, Halliday's adventures make for a compulsive read. Whether she's riding a camel in India, dislocating her knee in Sumatra or smoking hallucinogenic pot on the roof of a Saigon hotel, Halliday describes her experiences with wit and verve. On the way she introduces us to a disparate cast of characters — including a string of boyfriends — all observed from her deliciously quirky point of view. The Hard Monkey Facts: Publication Date: November, 2003 Read an excerpt from No Touch Monkey! (in which we learn that grass milkshakes, thug monkeys and an unbolted door can be a dangerous combination!) Satisfy your monkey lust. Buy the book from Powells.com! Back to No Touch Monkey! home
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