Everybody eats, right? And most of those people know how to read, or at least aspire toward literacy. Can you imagine how rich I'd be if each of them bought a dozen Dirty Sugar Cookies? Oh baby, I'd be like, flourless or something.
Feel free to paw through the merchandise at my three — seriously, THREE! — Cafe Press stores. (And I must tell you that what you see below, sir or madam, is but a small sampling of the items and styles available. Click the links to be dazzled by it all!)
Don't have kids? Haven't traveled beyond the borders of the town in which you were born? Wouldn't know a zine if it bit you in the ayuss? Brothers and sisters, would you believe me if I told you there's still plenty of common ground between us? Relive the crappiest jobs you've ever worked by reading about mine. Published by Seal Press in March 2005.
Buy my book No Touch Monkey! And Other Travel Lessons Learned Too Late from Powells.com!
Order a copy from Powells.com by clicking the link I just gave you, or the book cover at right.
Be sure to visit the No Touch Monkey! home page for full info and a hot excerpt!
"I laughed hard on nearly every page of this shockingly intimate travel memoir and deeply funny book."
Stephen Colbert
The Daily Show with John Stewart
Buy The Big Rumpus from Powells.com!
Check out my first book, The Big Rumpus! Just click this link, or click on the book cover over to your right, and Powell's will scratch your Rumpus itch pronto.
Kirkus Reviews called The Big Rumpus:
A breezy memoir of motherhood that for all its hip attitude also affectingly recalls traditional fears, joys, and a sense of the miraculous...Motherhood recalled with engaging brio and considerable wisdom.
Still making up your mind? Need to know a little bit more about the book first? Visit The Big Rumpus page for information overload. Then come back here and buy that sucker.
The East Village Inky is my quarterly zine, the chronicles of the Hoosier-born mother of a 3-thumbed four-year-old and a beguiling baby boy (not to mention a certain showtune-penning father) and their adventures in New York City. Thrice nominated for an Utne Reader Alternative Press award. Want to know more about it? Visit the East Village Inky page.
Ohh! Why put yourself through the drudgery of holiday shopping when it is so easy to give everyone on your list a holiday gift subscription? It includes a card and personalized message.
But wait--want to order a sample first? Don't believe in credit cards? Can't get a credit card? That's okay, we can't get one either. We accept checks and cash too -- just ask.
Buy Ayun-thologies from Powells.com!
Get it? Ayun-thologies? (Like, collections with stuff by me in 'em?)
The following anthologies include contributions by yours truly. Click on the titles to order them and/or read more about 'em!
The May Queen: Women on Life, Love, Work, and Pulling It All Together in Your 30s
Edited by Nicki Richesin
Keep it under your hat that I'm pushing 41. They think I'm 29.
The Imperfect Mom: Candid Confessions of Mothers Living in the Real World
Edited by Therese J. Borchard
Given that you're already loitering in cyberspace, you'd probably be interested in my dishy essay regarding the demise of a hopping online community.
Roar Softly and Carry a Great Lipstick: 25 Women Writers on Life, Sex, and Survival
Edited by Autumn Stephens
Just to make extra double sure I'll never get a lucrative freelance assignment from a high-circulation women's magazine, I had to get all uppity in public with "Smells Like Perfume Inserts."
Secrets and Confidences: The Complicated Truth about Women's Friendships
Edited by Karen Eng
I wrote about Jessye's mom, Viola Sheely in the East Village Inky #3, and again here, in "Another Mother"
Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts
Edited by Bee Lavender and Maia Rossini
There's a lot of promise in that subtitle, dontcha think? It ain't a guidebook persay, but there's plenty of inspiration in these pages (as well as the introduction of The Big Rumpus for your reprint pleasure)
Whose Panties Are These?: More Misadventures from Funny Women on the Road
Edited by Jennifer L Leo
More hilarious tales of horrible travel experiences collected by the editor of Sand In My Bra. Re-read all about my dislocated knee, excerpted from No Touch Monkey!
France, a Love Story: Women Write about the French Experience
Edited by Camille Cusumano
Lauren Bacall, you're running out of time to file that lawsuit! Here's another chance with a reprint of the "Paris Lip" chapter from No Touch Monkey!
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Toddler: Real-Life Stories of Those Fickle, Irrational, Urgent, Tiny People We Love
Considering the Family Bed? Perhaps best not to read "Bedtime for Milo."
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Women Who Eat: A New Generation On The Glory Of Food
Everybody else wrote about something delicious. I thought I was supposed to write about working in a restaurant. This piece about Dave's Italian Kitchen is what got my wheels turning for Job Hopper (it's in there too.)
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Breeder: Real-Life Stories from the New Generation of Mothers
"NeoNatalSweetPotato": If you're not sick of it after reading The Big Rumpus,
you can read it in its condensed version.
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The Unsavvy Traveler: Women's Comic Tales of Catastrophe
"(Carry Me) Out of Africa": I swear this cautionary tale of adventure travel
gone awry in Tanzania, Rwanda and Kenya is funnier than the title the
editors slapped on it (not that I could come up with anything better).
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A Woman Alone: Travel Tales from Around the Globe
"Dog Master" recounts another of my lucky near misses, this time involving a
pack of snarling, homeless mongrels who surrounded me one moonlit night in
Bali.
Urinetown, the book!
My husband, some hotshot. Now you can get his Tony-winning Broadway musical in book form. Even if you've already seen the show and worn out the CD, you'll want the book for the photos and the introduction alone.
Use this link to buy Urinetown, the Musical (the book) from Powells.com.
From My Neo-Futurist Days ...
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200 More Neo-Futurist Plays from Too Much Light Makes the Baby Go Blind
by The Neo-Futurists ($16.00)
The third book collection of scripts from Too Much Light, heavy on the dialogue and action, including eight scripts by me, eight by Greg Kotis, eight by Webmaster Dave, and two by Little MoMo! Revel in such early Halliday classics as "The Tampon Play" and "Mechanical Monkey Singers Present Last Chance All Camp Singalong"! (Released February, 2005.)
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NEO-SOLO: 131 Neo-Futurist Solo Plays from Too Much Light Makes the Baby Go Blind
by The Neo-Futurists ($14.00)
A collection of monologues and solo pieces from Too Much Light, including half a dozen by me, plus six each by Greg Kotis and Webmaster Dave. (Released September, 2002.)
Both of the above books can be ordered by mail from Hope and Nonthings Publishing. Send a check or money order made out to Hope and Nonthings, for the cover price(s) of the book(s) plus $1.50 per book shipping and handling for US domestic orders, $2.50 per book for foreign orders, to the following address:
Hope and Nonthings
P.O. Box 148010
Chicago, IL 60614-8010
Department of Tipping the Webmaster ...
What the Sea Means: Poems, Stories & Monologues 1987-2002
by Dave Awl
Webmaster Dave's first book, which Milo helped proofread over my shoulder. We must have liked it, because I wrote Dave a nice blurb for the back cover. Here's what I said:
"Dave Awl writes from the perspective of an outsider looking out, a true believer in the secret lives of corpuscles and cantaloupe. The poems in What the Sea Means ...will ensure that your mind remains supple and fluent in the possibilities of boulders, celery and unoccupied shower stalls."
Ayun Halliday, East Village Inky
Buy other stuff at Powells.com! Make this melonfarming site pay for itself!
Just search for any book your little heart desires, from Harry Potter to Russell Hoban, by using the handy little box below! It's that easy!